18 Things I Learned at 18

It's taken me quite some time to put this list together, and honestly I've actually learned a lot more than that, but these are the things I felt like stressing on here. I hope this list is helpful in any way!

1) You will probably not beat the odds, in any way possible: This may seem extremely pessimistic, but what I mean by this is that everyone who leaves high school thinks that they will be the one to maintain their long distance relationships- whether they're romantic or platonic- juggle seamlessly between school and fun, and just generally not struggle during their first year of uni. And while it may be the case for some people, more often than not, the first year of university beats you down to a pulp. But it's okay, it gets better! (She says, laughing nervously)

2) Sometimes people grow apart, and that's okay: This kind of goes in the same vein as the first point, and this is something I want to elaborate on in a separate post. When you go to university, you realize that all those promises you made with people to stay in touch and not lose contact are hard to keep. Even with your best friends, it's hard to stay as close as you once were. That doesn't mean the connection isn't there anymore, it just means you have to put more work into your relationships.

3) Vibes are real, y'all: Put out good vibes in the world, and you will receive good vibes in return. I am someone who spirals in bad thoughts very easily (But you know that already) and I have had to learn that only putting out negative vibes means only receiving negative vibes, thus reinforcing the cycle of negativity I try so hard to break away from. 

4)The future is barreling down at me fast, and I am not ready for it: I am 19 years old and right now, after a year of stress and anxiety, all I want to do is relax and enjoy my summer, but I don't have the luxury to do that anymore. Every free moment I have should be spent on finding a good internship or making connections that will be helpful when I graduate (which, oh my god, is in only two years). 

5) Not being an antisocial asshole has its perks: When I first went into uni, I thought I had enough friends as it was and didn't see the appeal in socializing with other people. However, I realized that this is the stupidest kind of thinking ever and that, when an opportunity to meet people from all walks of life comes, you take it. I have met a lot of lovely, fun and interesting people, some of whom I have become actual friends with, and I wouldn't have been able to do this had I not opened myself up to the idea of making new friends. 

6) Speak up whenever you feel it's necessary: This is something about me that a lot of people find very irritable, but I will never shut up about an important issue. If you say something rude or sexist in front of me, even (nay, especially) if it was a joke, you best believe I will put you back in your place. I am a hardcore feminist, human rights activist and general human being with (what I like to believe) is common sense and I don't appreciate tasteless jokes or rude remarks concerning people's gender, race or sexual orientation, and I am not afraid to speak up when it matters, even if it bothers a whole lot of people. 

7) Women need to stick together: This year more than ever I have truly grasped the extent to which women need each other, particularly in a world where a man who says he likes to grab women by the pussy gets elected as President of the United States. We need to stick together, and fight for our rights together, not put each other down in petty ways in order to win men's affections. 

8) If you are not in love with your major, you're probably not studying the right thing: This may seem extreme, but I genuinely believe that if you are not 100% convinced that you are meant to do what you are doing, then it's probably not gonna work out. And on the off chance that it does work out, you probably won't be very happy. Follow your passion, even if it seems like a gamble, because life is too short to do anything else.

9) Avoid situations that make you feel uncomfortable: Look, I get anxious in crowds and I don't like techno music. That makes going to clubs a little hard for me. And as a newly minted university student, I've often felt the pressure of doing things regular students do such as drink carelessly and dance the night away at some random- if not slightly shady- club. But, to be honest, I just can't be bothered anymore. I don't have to put up with shit I don't need/want to put up with and I don't have to be afraid of annoying my friends or sounding boring. I wrote this in my "16 Things I Learned at 16" post, but this is just as relevant today as it was 2 years ago: Those who mind don't matter, and those who matter don't mind. 

10) Capture every moment: Be that lame person that takes pictures of every meal, or every family gathering or every encounter with a friend. Take pictures of everything, because you can, and because future you will be so glad you did.

11) Take any opportunity to travel: This year I traveled alone for the first time in my life, and it was both a nerve wracking and exciting experience. I had a lot of time on planes and trains to contemplate life, and realize how lucky I am to be able to travel and explore the world. This is one thing none of us should ever take for granted.

12) There is always going to be somebody who hates peaches: I've always tried really hard to get people to like me. This is one of my biggest flaws because, as it turns out, some people don't like me (Shocker, right?) But every time that gets me down I think about this quote I found a few years ago: "You can be the ripest, juiciest peach in the world, and there's still going to be somebody who hates peaches". Sometimes, people aren't going to like you, and there's really nothing you can do about it. If you're like me, you need to stop obsessing over it and move on. 

13) Life is too short to stay covered up at the beach: Ok, so maybe I still have a little trouble with this one. But honestly, I have spent my whole life afraid of getting in a swimsuit in front of people, of them seeing my pudgy thighs and love handles, of finding me horrible to look at but I am so done with that. So what if I have a little fat? That can't stop me from enjoying the sun. Which brings me to my next point,

14) If there's a problem, there's a solution: Don't wallow in self-pity, don't throw in the towel and give up on life. If you think you're fat, go work out. If you're getting bad grades, study harder. There are always solutions to life's problems, you just have to look for them.

15) Your gut is right 98% of the time. Trust it: When something is right and meant to be, you will feel it. Instincts are the reason we're all alive right now. We should trust them more. 

16) Exercise for your mind, not your body: Don't get me wrong, it's great to see your hard work (and by hard work I mean 45 minutes of power walking on a treadmill) at the gym pay off body-wise, but I realized recently that the only reason I want to stick with it is because it makes me feel good mentally. For all of you who suffer from anxiety and/or depression, you probably heard this a million times but exercising really is good for the mind. I know it's the worst, but honestly it's worth it (Does that even make sense? You know what I mean)

17) Never underestimate the power of comfort: It's funny, but I always find myself unconsciously gravitating back towards my favorite books or TV Shows when I'm sad or stressed out (I actually can't tell you how many times I've watched and rewatched The Office, it's ridiculous). There's just something about these stories and characters that is soothing to me, like a comfort blanket for the mind, and I think it's so important to rely on these things during hard times.

18) Everyone has their shit: Life is pretty hard, and it's easy to think that you're the only one going through a rough time and shut everyone out, but honestly life beats everyone down pretty equally. We all have our own shit to deal with, we all have to do with the lots we're given and we shouldn't assume that everyone is doing great at any given time. We just have to stay mindful of people's problems, and remind them to stay mindful of ours.